The Toilet and the Tempest

At Beltane, I premiered a poem I wrote about my experience when “gulfnado” stuck on the Thursday of Gulf Wars.


The Toilet and the Tempest
Aibhilin inghean Daibhidh

On one fine eve at gulf wars in between some bouts of rain
I wandered off from camp to visit port a privy lane
Though dark clouds loomed near in the sky, a threat of more to come
I worried not for just a bit of rain and thunders drum
But as I settled down to do my business on the John
Not half a second passed before I heard the tempest spawn
A wall of rain smacked hard against the privy’s plastic frame
And I felt the small booth shudder as the wind, a-howling, came

At first, I wasn’t worried, for the storms returning rage
For many storms had passed that day as war we tried to wage
But as the howling increased and the rocking winds began
To shake the privy where I sat and tried to use the can
The rain began to penetrate the vents up near the top
And I shook as chilly rain upon my skin began to drop
The privy shook with violent force and rocked me to more core
And I thought now might be time to bolt out the privy door

But as this thought came to me and I prepped to face the storm
A loud and thumping racket told me hail became the norm
I faced a small dilemma as I peered out through a crack
Watching horizontal rain and hail on some poor soul smack
To stay inside the privy and risk a blue and brown demise
Or charge forth from the stall to pelting hail thrown from the sky
The privy shuddered harshly and forced me to decide
That safely in it’s plastic I could scarcely longer bide

I threw the door wide open and into the tempest ran
With little time to contemplate a newer safety plan
But lady luck was with me as the hail abruptly stopped
As a wind gust on the privy door behind me harshly knocked
And quickly was I soaking wet amidst the pounding rain
As I hurried back to camp down the path by which I came
The story was not over as the winds increased in time
But that is for another story and another rhyme

Filed Under: Bardic, Performance


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